Thoughts On Obama's Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech

"The concept of a 'just war' emerged, suggesting that war is justified only when it meets certain preconditions: if it's waged as a last resort or in self-defense; if the force used is proportional, and if, whenever possible, civilians are spared from violence." -Obama

None of these conditions are ever met in war. It's like saying, "fight fair," but fighting can never be fair because someone is always getting hurt. Perhaps it would be nice if war from this point forward followed all of these rules but then again, if we as humans had the capacity to uphold such conditions consistently, then we probably would find another way to settle our differences rather than fighting.


"We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth that we will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes." -Obama

Not with that attitude we won't. Jk jk, but honestly, I like that he gave us that tough pill to swallow.


"Evil does exist in the world. To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism--it is a recognition of history, the imperfections of man and the limits of reason." -Obama

Honestly, I think the whole "good vs. evil" thing is so last century... There is a more modern way of framing it, I think, which highlights the complexities of conflict into more than just two groups. It's not black and white. Maybe I will write about that in my next blog...


"We have borne this burden not because we seek to impose our will. We have done so out of enlightened self-interest--because we seek a better future for our children and grandchildren, and we believe that their lives will be better if other people's children and grandchildren live in freedom and prosperity." -Obama

Some Americans DO seek to impose their will (*cough cough* Sarah Palin and her supporters *cough cough*). Also, I don't like that he used the word "better" when describing the future because "better" can be defined differently for lots of people, based on their culture. For one person, "better" could mean all people different from him rot in jail. The American way is not necessarily better and this is highlighted by the fact that there are still groups in American society who aren't seen as equals socially or politically (aka gays). We can't go around defining words like "better" when we still have a lot of work to do on acceptance and appreciation of difference.


"So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace. And yet this truth must coexist with another--that no matter how justified, war promises human tragedy. The soldier's courage and sacrifice is full of glory, expressing devotion to country, to cause and to comrades in arms. But war itself is never glorious, and we must never trumpet it as such." -Obama

Ummm war preserve peace? Ok Mao. If there is war then there IS NO peace. Huhwo. Also, I'm just over this whole obsession with "martyrdom." Stop perpetuating it. It's not glorious--it's sick-- that people have to DIE just to believe differently. And then when that someone dies, the killer (or killers) turn(s) into the new (perceived) enemy for all that martyr's supporters and thus another war begins in that martyr's name. Why don't people understand this??? It's not glorious to die for what you believe in--it's glorious to believe differently than others and still be able to sit around the table peacefully and enjoy each others' differences.


"War is sometimes necessary and war is at some level an expression of human feelings." -Obama

This to me sounds like a little kid justifying hitting his classmate on the playground, "You hurt my feelings so I hit you," and that somehow makes it ok? Remember the phrase, "Use your words?" Sheesh.


"The belief that peace is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it. Peace requires responsibility. Peace entails sacrifice." -Obama

WAR requires responsibility and sacrifice as well, am I right??? But engaging in war and not peace is so much easier for us. The belief that ANYTHING is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it. I think this is kind of a cop out.


Ponder this: Did anything stand out to you in Obama's speech? What do you think about war?

At the River - Groove Armada

Diggin' this one...

What Do You Think About Expectations?

I’ve been thinking a lot about expectations. Some people, whose ideas and thoughts on life I cherish (if not crave), suggest that expectations lead to resentments. Expect nothing and everything will mean something… I did a little bit of research about Buddhism, which posits this same concept of letting go of expectations in order to reduce our own suffering. Essentially, Buddhism proposes (because that’s what religion is to me, a proposal, but we can save that for another blog) that, “if we look at our life, very simply, we see that it is marked with frustration and pain. This is because we attempt to secure our relationship with the ‘world out there’ by solidifying our experiences in some concrete way. The problem is that the ‘world out there’ is constantly changing, everything is impermanent and it is impossible to make a permanent relationship with anything at all.” Makes sense… But this seems so obvious already to me. Yes, life, the world, our lives are constantly changing. If we expect anything to be consistent at all in this world it should be change. How twisted is that?

I am in no way, shape, or form suggesting that I know what Buddha was thinking, but I feel like, once again, us humans have put too much onto something that is really very simple. The point that I feel like he (or she) was trying to get across was this preceding fact: that change is inevitable and that clinging to negative emotions resulting from unexpected change is counterproductive. I mean, if we know life is always changing, why do we get so upset when something in our own individual life follows that same pattern? Let’s be honest, I have frequently had a pity party for myself when things didn’t go my way. My current problem is trying not to feel bad about feeling bad that things didn’t go my way… So basically, even though I know and accept that change is inevitable, I still feel sad sometimes. What is THAT about, right? Sometimes it’s just so hard to let go! I really wanted that and I put a shitload of work into it but I still didn’t get it so what the hell? I know it’s not the end of the world, I know that my state of upset is also temporary and that soon I will look back and think to myself, Damn, that sucked. Oh well, glad I made it to the other side. I know that life is just ups and downs. I know all that stuff. But I’m human. I’m not some enlightened monk who floats around letting the positives and negatives of life roll off her back like drops of rain, like nothing. I wouldn’t even want to not feel things… What is the point of being alive if we’re not feeling?

What if I do get what I expected from a situation or from a person? Is it ok for me to have positive feelings about that? Is it ok for me to feel love, joy, and excitement? Or am I still just setting myself up for failure? I feel. WE FEEL. That’s what we do. It seems to me that the sooner we embrace that fact rather than trying to figure out ways to avoid feeling, the sooner we can all just let each other be. Feelings can be just as temporary as life, if we learn to appreciate them as they come and then move on from them.

My questions to you, then, are as follows: What gets you through those times when someone or something doesn’t meet your expectations? What gets you through those times when YOU don’t meet your own expectations?

In the Sun - Joseph Arthur

Love this song too.

I Still Care For You - Ray LaMontagne

I am in love with this song right now. Ray's voice just makes my heart warm. Enjoy :-)

What Are You Grateful For?

As I sit and look out the window of my first New York apartment, I can’t help but laugh to myself. Like, out loud. You see, no matter what happens in my life, things just always seem to work out. For example, the apartment my new roommate found for us in the lower east side of Manhattan (just writing that puts a smile on my face) is arguably the apartment that people dream about having but don’t end up living in when they move to New York. I mean, are you kidding??? The place is on the top floor and has three balconies for crying out loud! When I feel myself going into What did I do to deserve this? mode, I have to stop because that question implies that I’m somehow unworthy, a word I can honestly say is neither in my vocabulary nor in my ecology. A mentor of mine recently said, “It is a shorter road to decide that worthiness is unimportant than the road to becoming worthy.” Life is just not about worthiness, got it? The truth is that for me, it doesn’t matter why. What does matter is that I’m grateful. I’m so grateful that blessings make me laugh. It’s not like, Haha I KNEW I would get what I wanted! But more like I’m having a chuckle with the personified universe like, Hey, thanks pal, you’re the best.

But what I’m most grateful for is not something tangible. It’s not my car and it’s not my apartment or even the people that are in my life, even though I’m so grateful for all of those things. What I’m most grateful for is the head I have on my shoulders. Not my actual head, smartass, but my overall outlook on life :-) I’m grateful that the things, material or otherwise, that my parents worked hard to give me (and that I realize not a lot of other people get to have) will never change the fact that I believe everyone on this planet, and in the universe, is and should be treated equal. I’m grateful that when there are bumps in the road for me (because there are bumps… lots of them) I don’t slip into a state of “Why me?” or blame others or dwell. I’m grateful that I’m patient with others whose orientation to challenges is to react in the ways I just mentioned. No, I’m not always patient and sometimes I get really frustrated, but I’m learning... There! Right there! Did you catch it? The fact that I accept, no, not just accept but appreciate that I am just learning and that I don’t know everything, I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for being grateful, because some people genuinely don’t see how amazing life truly is.

This outlook, my soul, my culture, my ecology, whatever you want to call it… I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. This awareness of life and how remarkable it is that we’re all here living, I love it. I can’t think about it too much or I start to trip out, but still… it’s awesome. I want to share that love, the awe, that appreciation for all things, good or bad, with everyone. I want people to be happy.

Then there is the issue of suffering. For example, what about the infant in South Africa who contracted AIDS from her mother and lives in extreme poverty, with no food or water or a chance at the kind of life that me and the people around me are used to? Where is the happiness there? In my head and my heart, there is still a capacity for happiness there because I, or you, or anyone, could reach out to that family and help them. No, we don’t have control over whether or not the mother or baby dies, but we never have had control over that and being unhappy because of our lack of control in that situation is futile. But reaching out and recognizing the human in people that we don’t know is what generates true happiness and is what I believe life is all about. It’s like this: I want you to be happy because I’m happy and we’re not so different you and I. Yes, I know that I may not be able to give you everything that I have, but if there is something that you want, I also want those things for you. It is the opposite of envy or jealousy. It’s not all the time that I see the world this way. Sometimes I have to work at it and remind myself, but I always end up right back here in this place of complete gratitude. And that is what I’ve decided my purpose is here in this life: If you need me and if you let me, I will be that gentle, loving, and nonjudgmental reminder of how spectacular your life truly is.


My question to you is this: What are you grateful for?

What Moves You To Take Risks?

I recently decided to leave everything familiar in my life to start fresh in New York City. I knew that I was being rash, and I wasn’t under any impression that it would be easy, but I figured that no matter how challenging the transition was, it wasn’t going to kill me so why not go for it? I ended up losing about 10 pounds in roughly two weeks because my body literally refused anything I put into it, which was something I had never experienced before—the completely uncontrollable reaction my body had to my emotions about all of this change. Regardless of how strong I was trying to be mentally, my body essentially was saying, “Nope, you’re gonna FEEL this whether you want to or not.” And for about three weeks, my body was right. Although the experience was difficult, to say the least, I knew my state wasn’t permanent and that once I healed and started to feel normal again, moving to New York would be the best thing I ever did for myself.

I don’t want to go too much into the reason for my move but I will just say that I felt like I wasn’t practicing what I preached anymore. I felt like a hypocrite and I felt weak. I felt like all the advice I gave to people when they needed me was shot to hell because I should have been saying it all to myself in the mirror. I couldn’t change my reality at home, no matter how hard I tried I continued to fail and would find myself deeper into that from which I was trying to escape. The only thing left for me to do was to just leave and start over somewhere new, where there would be no memories of what was to pull me back into my sadness, where everything would be unfamiliar and unknown and I could start to form new memories, happy memories. I don’t feel like I ran away from my problems. Instead, I feel I made a conscious decision to remove myself from an unhealthy situation because we only have this one life and I want mine to be as happy as possible. If something isn’t contributing to my happiness, then either it has to go or I have to go.

Going from the familiar to the unknown can be terrifying, no matter how dire the familiar is. Fear of the unknown is arguably one of the reasons battered women stay with their abusive husbands, for example. Dealing with the physical pain of abuse is far easier than dealing with the emotional pain surrounding leaving someone you love. Thankfully, I have never been in a physically abusive relationship but I definitely understand how hurtful it can be to detach yourself from the person you love. Its kind of like damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But the way I saw it, I could stay and be unhappy forever or I could leave and be unhappy for a little bit, but then heal. I sat there looking at door number one and door number two for about a year until I finally got up and literally pushed myself through door number two, which was a free fall into dark, nothingness. But I have finally landed on my feet, like I knew that I would.

My question to you is this: What moves you to take risks?